Angels and Demons

O.K. this one is going out to all you caretakers out there.

You know who you are --the ones that have at some time or still are taking care of someone. And I put this post out there not for a pat on the back because I now officially am one, but to voice my appreciation and to claim my bond with all those others out there doing this wacky, tiring and some-times heart wrenching job.

So this is for everybody who has:

1. Had to stand by and watch a loved one in pain and discomfort and felt like you couldn't do anything about it.

2. Held heads while puking, hands while sleeping, kissed feverish cheeks, brushed hair back from sweating foreheads. Fetched endless numbers of pills, glasses of water, ginger ale, chicken soup, pillows and blankets. Tried to coax someone to eat. . .just a few bites.

3. Watched a once perfectly able person not be able to put his/her socks on, walk to the bathroom, negotiate steps, or sit up for too long.

4. Endured the sharp word and the burst of temper for the smallest reason that comes from the illness but is aimed smack dab at you.

5. Held your tears, fears and temper in until you thought you would burst, letting them out only when you are out of sight walking the dog, in the basement moving the laundry into the dryer, or pretending you are taking a long hot bath.

6. Kept on doing 1-5 although you would love to take a vacation and often fantasize about handing over this whole gig to someone else.

7. Felt no guilt about using all available means to take the edge off, maintain perspective, and keep yourself whole during this experience - whether that be chocolate, red wine, cheezy novels, bad t.v., mindless internet surfing, shopping, excessive exercise, or excessive coach potato-dom.

8. Tried not to spend too much time wondering why - because these things never do make sense.

9. Now has the benefit of understanding what really is important and what is not.

10. Called on God, Buddha, Mohammed, Mother Teresa, Blessed Virgin Mary, Gandhi, Dr. Phil, the Great Oz, Oprah, the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and any body else who might be available to just stop this nonsense. . .

We all do these things not just because we have to, but out of love. . . and its a process that make you understand what that word REALLY means.

My father's sister Nell, who was a jewel of a person, fought a battle with skin cancer nearly all her adult life. When she was 79 going on 80 the cancer had finally totally metastasized and she knew it was taking her down. She grabbed both my hands hard one day while I was visiting her, looked me straight in the eye, and with the greatest intensity she could muster said to me "The most important thing in life is love. . .that's really all there is." It sounded overly profound at the time and remember thinking that the cancer was probably making her a little wacky.

But now I have to admit that I think I know what she was talking about.

Yep, now I think she was right. . .