Happy Anniversary

Monday, March 15 was our 8th Wedding Anniversary. Still newlyweds many tell us. . . but we've been through a lot in those eight years so its seems like a lot longer---good longer I mean. In actuality we HAVE known each other for over 25 years although we haven't been together that long. Our pasts have intersected many times (the only bar I was ever thrown out of was the Texas Wisconsin border in Richmond, VA and Andrew, who was a bartender there, is the guy who did that---but that's a longer story for another time). I'm sure that contributes to the feeling of longevity. But we both agree, regardless of the real time, we have been soul mates forever.

Our anniversary gift to each other was the fact that Andrew

is feeling well--- really well-- well enough to enjoy a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant, with a promise of a movie later this week, salsa dancing post-treatment and 4th of July in Seneca Rocks.

I am so excited about how good he feels and I think our doctors share that sentiment. "I feel normal" he told me the other day, and I believe him as there are no indicators to make me think otherwise. He's not jogging around the block, but he's active---walking dogs, making fences (see pic), going to school, shopping (buying surprise flowers

for the wife), making dinner -- right now I can hear him outside deconstructing our back porch---but most importantly he's eating like a horse. (note the chocolate tower on the dessert plate) People comment on how good he looks, and they are not just being polite.

The weather is feeding our upbeat mood by turning sunny. All the snow has melted and the smell of spring is in the air. The trees are just starting to bud, and yes, even here in Syracuse (or Siberacuse) the flowers are pushing their heads up out of the ground.

I find that because he is doing so well I am feeling very happy and lighthearted (maybe also because its spring break). With help also from my music therapy (favorites on the iPod this week are Fleet Foxes "Your Protector," Anya Maria "Satellite Heart," and Coldplay "Cemeteries of London" and thank you Carla for that iTunes gift certificate---Can't wait to download!!!!) and my work outs with Frank (OMG) I am in a very good place. I realized that I was actually skipping down the

street the other day (which I attempted to self-document for this purpose, not so well, but you get it--cars driving by, people wondering who that person is skipping while waving her iPhone over her head).

I know Andrew is sharing my upbeat attitude. "Tempus f---ing Fugit" he just proclaimed with gusto to our friend Zeke and the most beautiful baby Thomas who wandered over to visit and watch the fence reconstruction. And this is not a forced enthusiasm. I can tell he really means it.

I am wondering is it endorphins kicking in or just this shared moment of crisis which seems to be putting everything into such acute focus and making the ordinary so extraordinary. Whatever, we are enjoying it.

Today at radiation, one of the patient's who has recently joined us in the waiting room on a regular basis (male, 50 ish), looked over at Andrew and said "Do you mind if I ask you what kind yours is." That's all it took for the cone of silence that keeps you separated from each other to fall away and for an open and poignant conversation about chances, diagnosis, fears, and determination to take its place.

It was stunning and powerful. Andrew touched that guy gently on the shoulder when we left and he told him "You'll be O.K." My brave and compassionate husband of 8 years and my soul mate of forever just being the person that he is. . .

We do know that this temporary blissful state is probably the calm before the storm but we are almost half way through radiation (zap # 12 of 33) and after next weeks hospital visit will be 1/2 way through chemo. Both Doctor G and H say just keep on eating and get ready to feel bad and next week when he goes in for the second round of chemo, that will probably be the turning point. So we know it is going to get tougher, but the 'tude is good, the socks are argyle and this week is a good one!