Week #2 - A return to normalcy

I've been teaching students for years about the emotional difference between something that's horizontal and something that's vertical, but its amazing to see that difference played out in Andrew's actions and demeanour. Having him up and out of hospital bed without any tubes hanging out of him, walking around in street clothes has made an amazing difference. Except for a little tiredness, and the fact that he isn't driving, things seem almost normal. We are all much happier. He's spending his day's talking to friends and family on the phone, and catching up on email and the Fox Soccer Channel. So expect to hear from him, if you already haven't. . .

He was even able to bear a whirlwind but intense visit by my Uncle Wade, Aunt Sandy and two of my cousin's kids on Tuesday. I had bought them tickets for a Syracuse game at Christmas time, thinking it would be a great idea to get them to come see us. Of course we didn't know then how our scenario would change. On the day of their visit, I arrived home to find the table set for dinner and our guests fixed up with drinks, sitting around talking about the differences between English and American Soccer. Wow, so normal. I kept looking for signs of fatigue or discomfort (because my aunt can be a little intense sometimes!) but they never materialized. . . He made it through a family visit without a blink --- now that's a test!

So this week we are just doing radiation every weekday at 11 a.m. That usually takes 15 to 30 minutes a visit -- not too bad. And two of those visits were cancelled this week bec

ause the super high tech amazing machine that they been using on him broke down (now that's a little unnerving--- Andrew likes to say the rubber band broke in it). This thing is a combo CAT scan and "radiater." The put him in and it takes pictures from over 50 different view points of the tumor, then they roll him out and calibrate it to just hit the tumor, and roll him back it for the radiation. Pretty amazing stuff (when its working. .. ) the machine should be back up and running today and we should be back on schedule for treatment. . .Except for this-- week 2 has been running pretty smooth-- for him.

My other patient, our dog Sophie, who got bit by another dog, seems to be faring worse than he is. Every time her wound we begin to heal she would scratch it open again and

make it look far worse than it was originally. When Andrew came home from the hospital and saw it he almost had a heart attack. Since I had to go off to work, he was insistent that he would walk her to the vets (about 1/2 a mile away). This was our first major "discussion" about the limits of his activities. I felt like I was talking to my father who is 80 years old and who I can't seem to keep off his roof. (totally reconstructed his chimney by

himself two years ago. . .) We compromised in that I would drive him over and he would walk back. The anxiety was incredible, like letting your kid walk to school for the first time. My insistence on regular mobile updates, irritated him, but he did it. Dog and owner arrived home with no incident and neither seemed the worse for wear. It seemed to be much harder on me than them, actually. Mostly importantly after a third visit to the vet they FINALLY decided to put a damn bandage on the thing. (Now there's a brilliant idea!) So Sophie is now is sporting a dapper red bandage, which only partially bugs the hell out of her, and seems to be working. . .

I have to say the best part of this week (beside having Andrew upright and at home; well actually there are two best parts, #2 coming up in a minute) is that I haven't had to cook. Friends and neighbors have flooded our house with goodies (Amy's spiced beef and squash soup, Jen's chicken pot pie, Barre's chili, Jeff's macaroni and cheese. . . ooo la la). We are eating high on the hog and all I have to do is microwave. Thank you all for that. Its been delicious.

Second best, is my visits with my personal trainer, Frank. Now somewhere in this process I got the idea in my head that that in order for me to make it through this and be as much help as I can to Andrew I have to be strong and stay strong. . .experience has shown me that when I'm physically strong I'm stronger mentally and well, as far as I could see, there is no way this flabby ass, middle age body was going to make it through this one without some help. So its been a two prong attack to improve mind and body.

Mind through my iPod and Happy Light. I had forgotten how soothing it was to listen to music! The theme on the Pod is tunes that soothe. Now oddly for me that's a great range from Muse''s "Super Massive Black Hole" to the opera, but it sure does work. You see me walking around with the ear buds in all the time now, something very unusual for me as I generally really do like to hear where I'm going. So please send me suggestions for new tunes--any new

tunes. The Happy Light is a marvelous invention. 10,000 Lux of bright natural spectrum light designed to "lift the spirits, sharpen concentration, and improve energy levels." And i'll be damned if it doesn't. A must for the constant grey skies of Syracuse, New York.

But best of all is Frank. Frank is  totally solid. There's not one bit of him that isn't solid, including his personality and his heart. Frank can size you up in a second and he can tell that I have a mind that's totally willing, but a body that is somewhat lagging behind. This doesn't mean he goes easy on me, he doesn't, but he knows just where to go and when to stop. Well, almost when to stop. The other day just as we were getting to the final set of bicep curls, I could feel the wave of nausea and the flickering of my vision. "Holy Crap, I thought, "I'm going to either barf or faint on Frank!"--- neither acceptable in my mind. It was a dilemna, do I admit my weakness and stop, and just risk it and try to muscle on. Decision was made for me when the second wave came through that took me down to the seated position. "Frank, I think I'm going to have to take a break." He was great, took the weights out of my hand, gave me the sharp and knowing Frank evaluation look, and ran for the glucose tablets for me.

Five minutes later I was somewhat back to normal and had somehow manage not to vomit. A real achievement! Odd thing is that I can't wait to get back to it. I love this getting stronger thing. . .By week 8 of this journey I should be formidable!!!

So bye for now and love to all! thanks for all the support! It also makes us strong!

P.S. this is not me in the bathing suit (although I wish it was) but my ex student and friend Kate Oliver (triathlete extraordinaire) making a statement in Andrew's behalf. . . Love ya Kate!